You’ve got spam


If ever there was any four letter word that could be done without, it is SPAM. A total waste of everyone’s time, money, effort and bandwidth. Apart from the usual ones, this piece that I am writing is about something peculiar. I have known spam mails enough to know that no such googlish intelligence exists with them to send spam related to things that we write about in our mails. Forget urging you to do something, this one has crossed all limits and already *done* something!! I have been receiving spam from Shaadi.com since quite some time now, all urging me to use their services. I have been duly deleting those mails. I have an account on hotmail which was the first email account I ever had. Its my spam account. Whenever I have to give my mail id on the net, this is what I give. I still continue checking it coz I opened this account when I was in college and *all* my college friends somehow remember this mail id of mine. My irrepressible efforts to educate them about my new mail id’s have never borne fruit. For some reason everyone from college ‘remembers’ this id and straightaway uses it only.

So as I said, I had been diligently cleaning my account of all Shaadi.com mails, when one fine day I saw a couple of mails from Shaadi.com with various subjects. One of them read ‘your profile is being screened’. A later one read ‘your profile has been approved’. Yet another one – ‘Your profile has been activated’. More mails were all prospective hopefuls trying to get in touch with me!! I was shocked beyond my grey cells about the audacity of the shaadi.com chaps! For one, I dont share my passwords, so it wasnt someone’s prank. How dare they make a profile on my behalf and even *pretend* to approve it!
I wondered how they could have gathered so much data about me to even make a working profile which was getting responses! Even if they had used a bot, it would have to have a lot of intelligence.

I checked up the profile and this is what it said.

I am 23, single, Hindu female living in Maharashtra, India
>>> how did they ever guess that!! I never knew that I had a GPS device embedded and they had a tracking device!

My Basics
Age: 23

>>> am sure this will make age exaggerating 🙂 really jealous LOL
Marital Status : Never Married
Children : No
Height : 5′ 7″

>>> wow what a height!!

Complexion : Very Fair
Body Type : Slim
Manglik : No

My Education & Career

Education : Bachelors
Occupation : Designer

>>> just how did they know that this was what i wanted to be when i was a kid??

Annual Income : Rs.5,00,001 and above


My Lifestyle

Diet : Non-Veg
Drink : Occasionally
Smoke : No
My Religious & Social Background

Religion : Hindu
Caste : –
Sub-Caste : –
Mother Tongue : Bengali

>>> aami bengali nahi jaanee chhhe (whatever)

Family Values : Liberal


My Location

Current Residence : Maharashtra, India
Residency Status : Permanent Resident
Country Of Birth : India
Sun Sign : Capricorn

My Personality, Hobbies, Long-Term Goals, etc
i love reading, traveling, music, playing games, dancing, cooking, excursion, sleeping, singing. dynamic personality.


>>> basically generic hobbies.

i love to love.i hate to hate.
>>> err.. i cd have been a little more poetic than that!

i like to eat. i like to drink occasionally

>>> in other words, wow! what a profile!


Just what on earth gave them the right to impose themselves so much on anyone! Going by the text in the description, it doesnt look like an automated job. Or maybe they chose a standard text and made several profiles with that. Thank god they didnt morph some picture into anything resembling a female and upload it on my behalf! Am pretty darned sure the matches that came would have been some other spam created profiles, created like mine!


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