A couple of days back, as I was going back from office, (readers of this blog would be aware that it comprises of a loooong journey all the way from Gurgaon to Delhi), the traffic was moving at a snail’s pace. Nothing new at all! For some reason, the traffic on NH-8 always seems to crawl rather than move..especially since the wedding season has started. (And no, murphy’s law refuses to apply to the opposite lane..) I guess the onset of the wedding season was marked by the ‘Big Bang’ in the marriage calendar.. the day there were supposed to be 12000 marriages in saadi dilli. Even though that frightful day ( i call it that cause I can imagine the traffic situ when it’s already bad with it being supposedly inauspicious for any marriages for a major part of this year, all because of the proximity with Mars) was after the ‘Big bang’, traffic continued to be slow. As we moved towards Shiv Murti, I noticed a wedding procession with all the works and stuff. Instead of the usual ‘Ghodi’ the Dulha came on an opulent looking chariot all decorated with flowers and lights and did I mention how long the chariot was.. it was the ancient equivalent of a limo. Moved a little ahead and saw another marriage being hosted in some place behind a petrol pump.. didn’t even know that space existed there… But this wasn’t the end of it yet.. just a little ahead in Mahipalpur, there was yet another wedding procession, this time headed for a tiny bit of space, that had been cleared up in front of some garages! The way these processions (and the guests who come in their cars to attend these marriages) had clogged up the National Highway, need not even be mentioned. They were oozing opulence without having to look at them..the lights, the noise of the band.. combined with the noise of the generator for the lights, the flowers, the glitter..phew.

Till date, ppl have been using the loophole of the “Rs.500/- fine if more than 5 ppl gathered in a farmhouse”. The rule in itself sounds like a joke. However, to overcome such traffic snarls, a new rule has been sanctioned, which includes ppl getting *arrested* if more than 5 of them are present in a farmhouse!! There was a news report of some bandwallahs getting arrested for the effect. Undoubtedly concerned as the authorities are, they end up making ridiculous rules which ppl still find a way about. This brings another thought to mind.. aren’t we as citizens supposed to contribute our bit, by not indulging in such conspicuousness? Probably when it comes to each individual, he’s out to prove that he’s got as lavish a lifestyle as one of the elite khaandaans in those K-serials, no matter what it takes (generally a huge loan) to prove so. I think that’s why Muslim, Sikh and even South Indian weddings are much better because at least they take place in the daytime and the ‘sho-shaa’ is a little played down. Of course, if they have to show how affluent they are, there’s no stopping them.

This is the zamana of designer weddings and weddings managed by *event* management companies..where everything from the pins that the bride sports in her bum…oops bun.. to the jootis of the dulha that would be hidden by the girls side (a common game played up north) is designed by the ‘oh-so-exclusive’ designers. I have seen weddings where regardless of the status of the two families involved, the bride swishes in and out of dresses as if she’s a part of some bollywood rigmarole. Had the dresses not been non-living things, they would probably have been in grateful tears to at least get their 5 minutes of fame, after which in all probability they would never see the light of the day (or night for that matter).

As Barkha Dutt, discussed in some episode of ‘We the people’ recently, why is it that opulent and lavish weddings are becoming *the* thing today? Aren’t we going overboard with the trends? Gone are the days, when Maharajas used to have such elaborate weddings.. nowadays everyone is a Maharaja in his own right. Ideally speaking a court marriage would be the simplest and the best. No jhanjhat, no irritating relatives trying to outdo each other, no hassles of money or managing these ‘events’ and just think of how you could spend all that money you just saved. Personally, hypocritical as it may sound, I wouldn’t like a court marriage. But I would definitely like a quiet affair, where the guest list doesn’t include more than a 100-200 close friends/relatives… Where I can be myself, enjoying my marriage instead of becoming a barbie doll that the bride ends up becoming, with the two sets of parents as the owners.

Ever tried online dating? I haven’t, but I created a profile on MSN for myself for the fun of it…out of curiosity to see what happens and then who knows, maybe I *could* go in for it. My profile was rather short and sweet, intentionally so to see if it attracts anyone at all. Till date I have communicated with perhaps 2-3 ppl through it, but never met any of them. Somehow I am just not the types to talk to *absolute* strangers on the net. I could never understand how ppl can waste hours chatting with some doubtful characters lurking in the anonymity that the net lends. Anyhow, with this mode I had an option to choose whether to correspond or to just ignore the responses. For statistical purposes, there are a lot of them out there who are very openly looking for no strings attached sex and make no bones about it. This includes a lot of foreigners settled in India as well. The oldest guy who has mailed me was 48 years or something (at least that’s what he claimed). The youngest has been 21. There are a lot of lonely hearts out there too, who probably don’t know what to do with their lives or their spare time. Many of them could do with some further education AFA their English is concerned.

Here are a couple of ‘funny’ responses.. which I have copied exactly as they were from their mails. Makes one realise, that it takes all types to make this a weird world :-). Enjoy the snippets with my comments inline in italics.

>>>>
Hi,

How are you doing? The world has been really pin down with this Internet, we come across ppl whom we rather won’t be able to meet or communicate.
Aboutme I am 28 yrs old guy from Delhi, hmm married for last 4 year. If comes to my relationship with my wife, it really open and understanding. Given each other the space to add spark in the life and go ahead with it.

About me as such I am into Business, which really makes me travel, but I really enjoy it, love driving, can pick up my car and end up to an unknown destination, but that only fun in life. Enjoy life as it comes. Other than traveling reading, writing and interacting with ppl.

What hold us back to indulge ina relationship? Hmm our marriage. What is Marriage? It is not a ritual or an end. Its is a long intricate intimate dance together and nothing matter more than you own sense of balance and your choice of partner.Now who we think is out PARTNER? . ..

Partner is the person who is someone special, who seem to know the art of bringing so much happiness and warmth in your hearth, someone you can tell your secret, dreams n feeling to, someone u can really trust to help n see u through, when you find there.

Anyway is pretty long mail I have written, you must be yawing. He I would love to hear back fro you , if u want you can email me at $$$$$ (at the rate)yahoo( dot) com or if yr instinct allow u can call me at ##########. You take care of yr self and be safe
Adios
Pawan
>>>>

Some understanding spouses! Shows that swinging is quite prevalent and open now. For all I know next they would be advertising for an orgy or something! Thanks Pawan for explaining the insititution of marriage to me.. ‘Be Safe’, he says! Wonder whether he meant safe as in sex..

>>>>
Hi,

This is Avi Here. I searched you through the MSN Match, thinking a friendship with you can be a rewarding experience.
Some expectations!

For last 3 years I was an NRI, and have come back to explore the possibilities of settling back to india. No other reason, I think I love India and Delhi and would like to do something in my life, in my own country, not in some foreign land in some foreigh country.

You can go through my profile in MSN a link to which must be somewhere in this mail. If that appeals you, why not give freindship a try. You can email me on “$$$$$$$$$@hotmail.com”.

Regards,

Avi
>>>>>
Aa-ha! So here’s a patriotic, garam khoon , deshbhakt!.. Why doesn’t he admit he got laid off!

>>>>>
Congrats dear lady,

Its u lucky day 2 day!!!!

And mine 2!!!!

Coz we’ve found each other!!!

Rohan
>>>>>
Oh My My! Lucky me.. doesn’t he sound like Reggie from Archies! ‘We’ have found each other indeed! Hope he goes and finds some sense for his head.

>>>>>
hi ,
well it dosent get better then this i guess…….a
guy and a gal meeting up through the net…..well i
saw ur profile and believe me it was quite magnetic
and i didnt have second thoughts abt sending u this
mail…….as for me iam someone who is born brought
up and spoilt in panjab kinds ……working here in
a mnc……iam clean shaven and i stand 6 ft
tall dark and for u to decide if iam handsome or not
else its like every donkey praises his own
tail……dont take me as a donkey either…..as far
as the person in me is conerned iam more of a outdoor
kinda guy who is into golf ,trekking and adventure
sports andlove driving my car………and i like doing
my own thing…….i guess thats it from my side and
in case u feel that some chemistry is there between
us drop in a line…..

living…..loving……waiting

ranvir
>>>>>
Uh? Chemistry through mail? never heard of such a thing, if it existed!

>>>>>
Hi,This is Anil the cool guy, but my friends use 2 call me Anny Wld u like 2 call me Anny.I love traveling,listening Music.Bassically I am a party animal.
I am six feet tall handsome,smart guy. I have casual styleing. I am lookins 4 a gal who is smart sexy and senceual (generally gals r not Kidding). Should have good sence of homour.Should be putting up in delhi or around
>>>>>
Yeah sure, Anny nanny.. would sure help if you improve your english some! Gosh!