personal

Testosterone tackle 1

This entry was posted in blank noise personal social on by (updated 4511 days ago)

Ever faced the problem of having someone staring at you or maybe I should put it as leering at you? Well, I am sure at least all girls face this problem most of the time, especially while travelling in public transport. Initially I always used to feel disconcerted but later learnt to ignore it and got used to it. So much so, that some of my male friends would be wondering why the guy in the nearby car would be almost plopping out of his car to stare at me, while I would be driving unconscious of the fact, with my ‘eyes on the road and hands upon the wheel’. Who has the time to pay attention to all this unwanted attention? But it definitely does get too much, depending on situations. One sure shot way to ward of a starer is to stare back. It’s not so easy. Staring back. One feels disgusted merely by glancing at the eyes which seem to be ripping your clothes apart. But DO stare back and very piercingly at that. One will instantly feel the urge to cast ones glance in some other direction quickly but DON’T. KEEP at it. However obstinate a starer may be, his testosterone still does not surpass his self consciousness (in almost all cases). He’ll instantly look down, beyond, or back wherever he’s supposed to be looking. There are nerds who actually turn around all the way to be able to look behind them! But beware, no sooner than the starer would have looked back in this ‘original’ direction and you would have heaved a sigh of relief, than the guy will steal a glance yet again and start the thing all over again. So keep at the dirty staring bit, till the jerk in question does not STOP looking back.

And in case, the staring at them bit doesn’t work, then simply try the ‘what’s your #$#%@#* problem’ routine. With a sudden surge of unwanted and unexpected attention, he’s bound to forget staring at least.

Other irritating problems that ppl may come across is with ppl they know. In fact it can be anyone, friends, colleagues, subordinates, anyone. I have noticed this silly habit which ppl seem to possess. While talking to you they’ll very easily get distracted with something on your face, instead of focusing onto your eyes. I know several ppl (not just guys) who look at my earrings while I talk to them especially if they happen to be a little long in length. The same happens with bindi & lipstick too or basically with whatever adorns my face apart from my facial features. Fine, the earrings/bindi/lipstick look nice and all that, but don’t the ppl realise that I can *see* what they are looking at, and I certainly don’t fancy ppl talking to my earrings/bindi/lipstick!! It’s not as if they have 2 sets of eyes.. dekhne kee aur, aur dikhaane kee aur (one pair to see with and one pair to show others)!! It sure is amusing to see ppl’s eyes dancing to your head movements!
So to tackle this variety, there’s a very simple way. Just utter ‘They’ll/It’ll look nice on you, do you want them/it?’. Doesn’t matter if it’s a guy you are suggesting to, that the danglers that you are wearing will look nice on him. It’s sufficient to jolt him/her out of his/her ‘tranced-with-the-earring-routine’. Also subtly manoeuvre something to the effect of this into the conversation – ‘I thought you really fancied them/it, since you were talking to them/it and not me!’ when the person at the other end squirms on your suggestion.
Note: The above tip can be used in synonymous situations where ppl fancy your bust, your butt, or well whatever ..

More such snazzy tips coming later.. for now you can wish me a happy blog budday :-].


The million dollar question

This entry was posted in personal work on by

It literally is about a million dollars. When I started with my career, the personal questions that interviewers would ask were not many. They were all the usual ones with typical answers. Positive points, negative points, strengths and weaknesses. Typical HR speak. Now that I have worked for several years and after an era of inertia, I have *finally* managed to push myself in the ‘assessment of my market value’ whirpool, the questions are again typical. But somehow I have still not been able to conclude what the best answer should be. One should always be prepared not to be caught unawares. I thought, with practice, I’ll be able to conclude the answer to that million dollar question – why do you want to leave your current job? But time and again, the reactions of the interviewers perplex me.

You should not appear as a flyer – changing jobs as quick as maybe clothes.. well ok, maybe not, maybe as quick as toothbrushes. So at least no flimsy reasons. The first approach I decided was to be honest. ‘More money’, I would state blatantly along with the usual, by now rattled-off-my-tongue kinda practiced sentences. After all, we all know that, that *is* the main reason. I soon realised. One of the companies had an HR interview with me. They asked me the reason why I wanted to shift and I stated the above, though of course coupled with a lot of other stuff about challenges at the workplace, growth, work culture and the usual yada yada. They never got back to me. In discussion with one of the consultants, who happened to know the philosophy behind the elimination process of this particular company, I was made aware of the fact that ‘money should not be the main reason’. In fact you should not sound ‘greedy’. ‘But that’s a major reason why we all seek change, isnt it?’, I asked. Still. That’s what he told me. Well, dunno why I shouldn’t demand what I think I am worth. If its too high, may be we can negotiate, but at least I should be made aware.

I started concentrating on other issues. Like growth for example. Role enhancement for another. If I say I am not getting these at the current workplace, the next question automatically is whether I ever raised this issue with my supervisors and what was done about it. If I say that I did and nothing was done about it, that perhaps give a wrong idea again. May be about my performance. May be about my relationships with my seniors. May be about my competency or my persistence. Whatever. To say that I never talked to my supervisors regarding my problems would be foolishness. I give different answers based on how I perceive the interviewer to react.

Another point is work culture. If I say that there were some things that I didnt like, the interviewer tries to probe into what kind of things. Ultimately it boils down to the same things happening in all companies. Does that imply that I’ll never be able to adjust to the work culture of any job? If I give a slightly positive picture of the work culture then we come back to square one. Why on earth would I state work culture as a reason for my shifting if it’s quite commendable!

There’s a fixed trend according to which ppl’s priorities change. When one’s a fresher, one is very enthusiastic and is ever willing to take on all the menial tasks and even do it for free if asked! But as you grow, things start getting to you. People realise that the company shouldn’t get to have its cake and eat it too, all the time. Priorities change.

But the million dollar question still remains unanswered. If I ask for a hefty (ok, not so hefty) pay package, is it ‘bad’? Negotiation or feasibility are other things. But mentioning that I am in this thing for money, is it really the wrong move? I don’t think so. Not all ppl survive on the usual idealistic criteria for a dream job. Good work, good work culture are all passe. What matters today is the big bucks and the time that you get for yourself. Good work and hence work culture are also very important, but I have seen ppl reach a compromise with them, as long as the other two criteria are getting satisfied. Is that approach wrong?


Pitter Patter

This entry was posted in creative writing delhi nostalgia personal poetry on by

I look out the glass window,
The sky so azure and blue,
A fluff of peppered clouds wafts by,
Oh! How I wish I could float too…

On the wings of nostalgia I fly,
and remember times gone by,
The scent of fresh air, the crystal clear panorama,
all remind me of an evening with you.

The way we were caught in a spell of rain,
huddled like sparrows were us twain,
In dearth of umbrellas, a tree was our shelter,
To prevent ourselves from soaking, we only huddled closer.

Times have gone,
The rains did too.
The rains have come again,
and I still miss you.


Graveyard Shift

This entry was posted in humour nostalgia personal on by

…and those things that go bump in the night. One of the things that go bump in the night is my sis. No, well she’s not as blind as a bat or anything, lemme explain. (I’ll be damned if she catches all these things sprawled on the web 🙂 )

My sis has had the habit of talking in her sleep right since childhood. Seldom has she ever uttered anything intelligible. It all sounds like some weird martian language to me. In addition to this, as a child, she also used to be adept at playing football in the bed (read kicking), of course not knowing that I am not the football or my mouth, not the goal post. What more, she would find herself in exactly 180 degrees of the position that she went to sleep in. Imagine trying to sleep and suddenly being thrust with something on your face.. and lo! behold it used to be the not so pretty foot of my younger sister! (It could have given a chiropodist some great business). At times she also used to be found dangling somehow in the reams of the mosquito net that wasn’t being supported by the bed! Well, over the years these habits started declining in frequency and also weirdness. The only thing pending was the jumble mumble game at times.

One fine night she had just retired to bed (and slept off), whilst I was handling some nightcare regime. Suddenly she asked me in a very polished tone,” What *ARE* you doing?”. Note the stress on the verb. This sentence struck me as REALLY odd. For one, we dont talk in plain proper english at home. We use what everyone is familiar with – hinglish. So a complete sentence with not a single word in hindi, threw me completely off balance. Add to it the fact that she was using this sophisticated tone as if she’d just stepped out of an english convent where Hindi speaking was fined (Believe me, I have studied in one). Last but not the least, I wasn’t doing anything so outta ordinary that she actually had to wake up and ask me that! Somehow I smattered that I was doing.. whatever.. and also appended a question about what the problem was. Suddenly, she was dumbfounded and she uttered yet another sentence which threw me more off balance than the first. She said, “Oh! I thought you were my English teacher!”. (This was in hinglish BTW). Well, whatever in the name of .. err.. blistering barnacles or the like was that?? And of course in the morning, she didn’t remember anything of whatever happened and we just kept giggling at the atrociously weird nature of it all.

This isn’t all. A few days down the line (now this is the incident where she went bump in the night) so lights, camera, action.. oh.. no lights..pitch dark and some howling by dogs, yes! Again, this time we were sleeping peacefully. Or rather everybody was sleeping peacefully while sleep chose to evade me. Suddenly (and this is horrifying), my sister woke up with a start and got up in a rush. I found it weird but gave her the benefit of doubt coz she does that a lot in a rush to relieve herself. But this time it wasn’t to be so. Instead of heading for the toilet, she went in some absurd direction, to another door, which opened in another room! And all this while, she was in that haphazard hurry. Before I could ask her what was wrong, she bumped real BAD against the door, as if she didn’t see that it was partially closed! This was enough to wake up my parents who appeared faster than a genie would have on the scene. (Yeh parents log aise hee hote hain). They asked her what was wrong and led her back to the bed. But my sister, she crosses all heights of being eery and with a stiff silence, came back and slept as if nothing had happened. Of course, not to forget, she didn’t remember any of this the next morning. All these night adventures of hers had the tendency to put us in splits when in a family gathering. But this was getting serious. What if some night she just decided that she was going to turn into a somnambulist? Anyhow, things became ok after a while and there was no trace of any such activity for a long time. With time, she shifted to Pune. I sure hope her room mate isn’t having a horrifying time now! 🙂

My Pocketful of stars

This entry was posted in personal on by (updated 6249 days ago)

star 1
The aircraft was shaking violently. We seemed to be accelerating towards doom. It was getting increasingly cold. Suddenly there was the sound of a crash. I couldn’t see anything beyond that. And that was because I had just woken up from a nightmare. I realised that it *was* quite cold (a chilly december night) and then to my horror I realised that even though I wasn’t in an aircraft, the earth definitely was shaking quite violently and a crashing sound had just emanated from the huge godrej almirah lined up against the wall. The tremors were making it bang against the wall! Only my sister and I were in that room and my parents were sleeping on the floor above ours. The thought that the house might come tumbling down, crossed my mind inadvertently and I also wondered if I should go upstairs to look up my parents. Anyhow the earthquake passed, but I wasn’t able to sleep at all after that. That nightmare was one I have never forgotten and neither can I forget the jitters (literally) when another earthquake starts. I have become hypersensitive to any tectonic movement and generally feel even the mild tremors that happen during the day when everyone else around me is tapping away at the their keyboards or stoning their eyes infront of a monitor by staring at it. Tremors across the Delhi region had died down substantially, until the Bhuj quake. In those days, there used to be a lot of mild tremors which would again leave me sleepless the whole night as I would continue to watch the bulb hanging outside the neighbours door, swaying with the tremors. Over the years there were not many earthquakes again. Recently a lot of tremors have started showing up again. Delhi lies in the region classified as number 4 which is just 1 below the region most prone to earthquakes. This shifting of tectonic plates is gonna have a catastrophic ‘earth shattering’ result – say a lot of speculators. Are we sitting on a time bomb just about to time out?

star 2
There are only two things that everyone is talking about nowadays. I am oozing cricket and politics out from my ears. (Thank GOD for the naturalesque attribute of other orifices!!) Of course not to forget the mixture of both – cricket in politics (cricketers campaigning) and politics in cricket (what *are* all these friendly matches anyway, we’ll be eyeball to eyeball in a couple of months). Are we that low-brained a nation that we cant imagine anything else worth talking about? Or we are so blinded by the sheen of these areas (less found in politics though) that we dont even realise how much time, effort, revenue we are wasting in both or at least by going on talking about both. I am not a cricket aficionado anyway and politics is something well educated people like us stay away from by default, unless one has a family connection like the rahuls and the varuns of today. Why it is so, is an entirely different debate altogether. But at least I am not the “eat cricket, sleep cricket and drink whatever pesticide infested cola you may want” variety.

star 3
I silently aged another year on 31st march. Yeah folks it was my b’day but didn’t feel like it at all. Surprisingly, I had a tendency this time to almost forget abt it. I had to consciously remind myself that my b’day was approaching. I have always been good with dates (that would probably be an understatement according to some of my college friends) and I remember and wish ppl on time. I used to make a lot of efforts to make the birthday baby’s day special, if it was someone close but not anymore. Many of those who are in my age group, would agree that aging another year, or rather your birthday is no great day, nothing to look forward to as you try to battle with that sinking feeling that you are getting *old*. There was a time, when birthdays were a big deal. As a child one keeps waiting to quickly grow up and get out of school. Once there, you yearn to grow up fast and be independent. No rules and cash that is your own, seem like nirvana. Been there, done that, leads you to this stage, where I am in no hurry to grow any older than what I already am. It only translates into one word – pressure. Pressure to grow more, relative to your colleagues, pressure to earn more than that glamourous dame in office, pressure from parents to get married and once that would happen pressure to produce some kids coz all this while your biological clock is ticking away. It’s just not in sync with you, you who keeps trying to make yourself believe that you are still young at heart. Slowly but surely, it has changed from a time to think of what all you want to do ahead in life, to counting and feeling miserable about what all you *still* could not get done. I spent half of my previous year feeling aghast that I was going to turn another year older in a couple of months. No more of that. Someone said life begins at 40 or was it 30 or mebbe it was 27. Who cares?

star 4
There’s this colleague who gets in my office bus from my bus stop. Recently I have noticed that he’s changed his habit of sitting in the very front seat. Now he prefers sitting in the rear end of the bus even if there are empty seats in front. Once I pointed out to him that seats are empty but he just ignored it and went ahead and sat down at the usual vacant seat in the back. I wondered why this weird quirk all of a sudden. A couple of days later, I realised myself. There’s a new entrant in the bus – a buxom babe who gets in from the stop which is right next to ours. Both of them seem to like each other enough to sit together everyday :-). The devil in me is gonna make me do naughty things now >:->. I think I am gonna sit right next to this colleague for a couple of days.. ha ha.