Comments on: It’s a Woe-man’s world

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Sun, 29 May 2011 19:22:51 +0000

Vitamin C, I do know some other women going through the same ordeal.. maybe we need to form a club :p

By: vitamin C

vitamin C — Sun, 29 May 2011 18:20:30 +0000

hi…a friend of mine mailed me this link….n the subject was….”meet your twin sister”…..and after reading this blogpost, i’ve realized that the subject cdnt have been better….Carrie Bradshaw is my other twin sister in every aspect except the chronological age off course….just wanted to share my kumbh ka mela experience,thats it….keep writing,,,our glorious indian society needs some real women who actually exercise their brains,,,afterall how long can we be expected to live in a box!!!!

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Tue, 17 May 2011 21:03:05 +0000

Hello ppl, I have just learnt that a lot of you are “listening” to this thread.. so what better an opportunity than this, for some shameless self promotion! :p
That too in the same context as a wedding . It’s been some time since I chucked my IT job to turn a freelancer (yes a ‘single’ status lets you take risks like that) and now I am doing.. ahem .. professional photography. That too “fine art wedding photography” amongst other genres of photography, which is different from the traditional form of wedding photography.

Take a look at my portfolio & share your thoughts – http://www.priyankasachar.com and if you like what you see, you can “like” the FB page too :p http://www.facebook.com/photography.fineart

By: NeoPurush

NeoPurush — Mon, 16 May 2011 21:38:20 +0000

haha accurately described may be I was on weed or something..but blame it on me understanding “sharing is caring”, included everything.

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Mon, 16 May 2011 21:30:19 +0000

NeoPurush – such men aren’t acceptable to most women!! What are u saying? Which woman in her right mind would mind an equal distribution of responsibilities. Can’t imagine anyone like that. Unless the man is a control freak or something

By: NeoPurush

NeoPurush — Mon, 16 May 2011 21:26:32 +0000

haha.. I quite agree with the theory part I have an addendum to that theory, may be men who are ready to share responsibilities aren’t not easily acceptable to most women too. I had scared the shit of a girl thanks to your inspirational blog. Only mistake I did that I highlighted bit more upon to share some traditionally manly responsibilities (i.e. fending for family)

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Mon, 16 May 2011 21:14:18 +0000

Hey NeoPurush, thanks for appreciating .. Yes, where are those men who share duties equally! I never said they aren’t available, Sadly they seem to be taken and not available on matrimonial sites or through the traditional routes of searching for a spouse. I have a theory that might explain that. Men who have stayed on their own (in or out of India) get what it takes to run a household (mostly). Hence they may be willing to share their responsibilities equally. Basically they can take their decisions independently. And those who can take their decisions independently tend to find a life partner on their own, early on in life. Sigh.

By: NeoPurush

NeoPurush — Mon, 16 May 2011 20:59:35 +0000

some where this post has struck the right chord in most men and women (include me too) otherwise there wouldn’t be so many comments and referrals to this post. Having said that even my brother got married to a girl who earns more than him, but that has never interfered to their relationship in anyways neither does my sis-in-law had any problems so far in 9 years. The fact remains, with financial stability reaching to every women which makes them equal to men there is not reason why she should not have expectations. But in a marriage some one has to compromise traditionally so far it has been women. Think of why our parents marriage has been stable? Who makes more compromises, who gave up career goals most?. (typically,the answer is mom). But question is would men also make compromises be ready to cook, take care of kids and household too. I have seen it happening in Europe, I predict it will happen in India too sooner or later. But As long as the older generation exists nothing is possible, Even if husband and wife are ready to make some compromises padosi and distant family will make sure it is the woman that makes the most. Or else the guy will be called ghar jamai, jodu ka ghulam and what not… we need to wait for another 25 years for this phenomenon to be witnessed.

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Mon, 16 May 2011 20:46:31 +0000

Aks – sure . Wasn’t taking it personally in any case. All laptop providers suck at customer service. There are many more horror stories AFA HP’s service goes which I haven’t mentioned here. I was too fed up. These days I am struggling with apple’s shoddy service! Who says Apple’s the best?!

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Mon, 16 May 2011 20:44:33 +0000

Hey Aks – yes I do know and often think of those kind of men and honestly am left wondering where they all are! To be honest, filters do keep out married men/divorcees/handicapped/uncles of your father’s age hitting on you/free loaders with income 1/10th of yours etc.. So I see no harm in them. I don’t think it’s possible to ascertain the highest paying munda (going only by shaadi.com’s experience here) because they have some ranges, with topmost being xyz & above. Also I definitely check the filtered section as well (like I check my spam folder in mail) because I know there’s a chance of a good match landing in there. Why would your colleagues assume or imply that it’s mostly women who are faking profiles.. it must be happening equally . And I have horror stories of not only my experiences but also others’ to go by. But yes, the sad part is, there’s little one can do to really believe what is written there as it’s as good as a social networking profile where ppl put in pictures of actors/actresses n try to appear cool. It takes a lot of investment in terms of time to filter out a prospective match & then get on to verify the authenticity (if possible somehow) and then invest emotionally. Given up now! :\

By: Aks

Aks — Mon, 16 May 2011 20:37:35 +0000

BTW, I didn’t mean to imply that you are one of these people – but by my own reckoning, the vast majority of women on these sites – unfortunately, do fall into some of these categories. Just another perspective, and not a snarky one (I hope). I do happen to suck at online communication.
BTW, read your laptop travails – thats how I got to your blog. Am thinking bharat desh ke bijli main kuch hain. My compaq is barely hanging on two years after purchase. Already – the battery’s gone, and one HDD has gone as well (Rs 3K for a change).

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Mon, 16 May 2011 20:35:52 +0000

Thanks Himadri

By: Aks

Aks — Mon, 16 May 2011 20:30:48 +0000

Have you ever thought about the other side of the coin? What about those guys who might want to talk to you, are otherwise decently educated, not misogynists, do have a decent income of their own and are interested in your brains/intelligence, or at least would appreciate the chance to talk…but then oft comes the message, the member has “filtered you”, or, xyz only wants hindu punjabi between ages xy and yz, so what about all of those who don’t really buy into caste shaste, region shegion? I am a south indian who has lived all over india, and it amazes me how parochial most women are on these “matrimonial websites”, and treat it as a “bidders game” or something like a “sotheby’s auction”, where the highest munda with the highest paying job, best caste/shaste quals, who looks like aamir or hrithik gets to talk//converse…evern though in real life he’d be a casanova and absolute jerk. My point is that its not all one way. While I understand your column was tongue in cheek, let me assure you that many men who otherwise consider themselves decent, and would be happy to have an independent, free thinking, self assured, financially secure, working woman as a wife are equally, in fact more, put out by some of the bizarre demands seen on indian matrimonial websites. As matter of fact, my colleagues tell me that you must be nuts to go on these sites because “everybody lies”, wherein of course they are referring to most of the ladies and of course, I must and should return the favor. Be as it may, what if I want to be me? What if I dont want to be fake…well guess what, then you don’t get to meet the girl of your dreams either, because she is chasing “her dream”, irrespective of how that dream may actually be!

Cheers!

By: Himadri Dimri

Himadri Dimri — Mon, 09 May 2011 11:24:51 +0000

Wow, you wrote it all so beautifully the woe’s of a single lady! aah searching suitable guys..:( My friend is so stressed these days with the same thing. Her parents like a guy she doesnt like and the guy she likes parents are against him.I wonder when will this marriage thing will be left to guys and girls only. Once they have decided parents should look at the family and go ahead!! right

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 17:42:00 +0000

Thanks for the visit Rajnish

By: Rajnish Ahluwalia

Rajnish Ahluwalia — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 16:56:42 +0000

Twilight Fairy indeed! A shade away from classification. All that you have recounted is true, though only partially. Life is not all about shades of grey. If you are willing for commitment, then some reconciliation, some compromise may be accepted as being on the cards. I am a much older man, married, and with a family to look after. I enjoyed reading your views, and could not help leaving a comment.

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:49:08 +0000

Atul – first things first. If you arent/werent in the marriage market or going through any of this, how do you even know what kind of people or experiences turn up there? “Bandar kya jaane..” etc etc. Secondly you say you are not against opinions but are keen on judging those who have one, because they have one?! Has this post touched some sensitive huge male ego nerve that you are going on after my professional success *assuming* that it made me somehow lack a personal life? If you knew anything about the IT industry, the first thing you would know is that women are a minority there. So much for your “places to look around” or the lack of men/people to interact with. In fact one get too much of unwanted male attention if you ask me.

Also it’s not like someone’s rejecting your marriage proposal that you are getting so vehement ..It’s your personal comments about me that I completely disagree with & I have every right to do so. Plus, It’s a humourous post for god’s sake. If you dont enjoy it, you know what to do. Click the ‘x’ on the top in the browser window.
Much thanks for dropping by.

By: atul

atul — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:26:47 +0000

firstly, I never said anything about putting forward a opinion, and secondly I aint in the rejection phase or the marriage market.

Moreover the entire point of me writing was having a checklist of something else than the possessions someone owns/inherits, which in ‘my opinion’ makes the relation bearable….plus on honest terms I guess after making yourself a success at the professional front somewhere you lacked the sense of people/men..maybe the places to look around.

Here’s something which comes to my mind ….”People often meet there destiny on the road they take to avoid it.”

Hope that helps and makes sense

cheers and luck,
atul

By: Twilight Fairy

Twilight Fairy — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 13:08:53 +0000

Atul – am glad you could perceive so much about me with one post of 1500 words and YET do not want me to have any opinions about those that I MET and interacted with, for a substantial time, for spending my life with. It SEEMS to me that you are one of those hypocritical males who suffered many a rejection at the shelf of the marriage market. Good luck with anyone that you manage to “settle with”

By: atul

atul — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 10:57:07 +0000

@twilightfairy, sorry just read your post on FB shared by a friend of mine, girl thats too much frustrations , ego perhaps also you are looking at always down below.Seems you aint looking for a partner who you could settle down with rather going for a comparison of who is better and whether he would be able to take it in case inferior with possessions one needs.

guess IT made you too object oriented, time to say OOPS now.

cheers & wishes